| May. 28th, 2008 @ 11:09 pm (no subject) |
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dear god,
i know i've been selfish. we haven't spoken formally in a while, but i feel i need to make my feelings concrete. i've always been outspoken about our relationship to my peers. some have thought i was crazy for it. some got it. few got it. but it's cool. i know the essense of our connection is of love, and faith, and all the good things people are down with you for. but i must get to the point. i can't escape the feeling that you've been keeping a special eye on me. all the times i've woke up at beaumont, botsford, henry ford, st.joes/johns ect. all of the dirty detroit back allies i've seen. all the convicts, criminals, junkies, and dealers that have kept my company. i should be dead. and i'm not. and for the first time in a long time i can honestly say i'm happy you saved me. or set up my saving or however your mysterious ways work. now we both know that i've strayed from my mission, and lately i've been feeling like i need to get back to that. you know, saving the world and all. and while i was blinded by the world, you began the taketh away process. i have been humbled. i want to say this in black and white. i'm sorry, you were right, and i was a fool to believe that i had this thing figured out better than you would. i've been to the lowest depths. i've seen shit that no one should see. i got cold. i lost my lust for life. i forgot what i was here for. and that is love, and friendship and people. i'm ready to get back to that. i'm ready to be a hero again. but i know i've got to climb. and i'm down. i've washed away those that held me back. i'm ready for the sunlight. wrap it all around me. let it flow through me. i wanna be your hero. i know you're listening. i'm screaming as loud as i can. i fucked up, but i'm seeing clearly. i'm sorry if this was overdramatic. i just needed to get this out.
love, Terrance |